Sunday, September 30, 2007

There Goes The Gayborhood

No really.. Where did it go?

It may not exactly be breaking news. In fact we've all known it was coming. But with this weekend's Fall Festival and the positioning of “Village” banners up and down the streets it felt surprisingly official.

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[13th and Sansom, stripped of color.. view photo below for irony.]

If you haven't noticed Philly's beloved “Gayborhood,” roughly between Broad + 11th streets and Chestnut + Spruce streets, affectionately called due to.. well, it's obviously large and lively gay population, has now been renamed. Welcome to the.. Midtown Village?!?

Anyone who knows anything about Philadelphia knows that we don't like change. At least when it comes to the renaming of our landmarks. Fuck, we still won't give any tourist directions to this, “Columbus Boulevard.” And we especially don't like the renaming of our landmarks when they are a clear cache on New York's.

Let me break it down, “Midtown,” may come from it's location in the middle of our city, but when the city only goes 30 blocks east west I think it's ok to use the “below Broad/above Broad” language. And “Village,” just an obvious reference to NY's village and has no connection to any Philly tradition. It makes us feel all yucky. Like we're trying to wear our big brother's basket ball jersey to breakfast to get some attention from our alcoholic father.. or something.

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Bring back the Gayborhood! It may not be as catchy as, “Midtown Village,” or look as cute in a real estate ad, but at least it's ours.

P.s. I should mention too that anyone who knows anything about Philadelphia knows that we complain about everything. Sooo...

Must watch video!

On a completely non-gay note. I love this video. The Lion King preforms Soulja Boy. Disney to sue any day.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Ahmadinejad Is Ah-Ma-Fucked-Up

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has become a bit of a celebrity here in the US the past couple of days. His remarks against women.. gays.. and all over humanity at NY's Columbia University all while maintaining a George W. Bush like smugness have landed him in some hot water with American press.. as well as suspended without pay from the set of Grey's Anatomy.

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But we here at Ugh have an open mind and wanted to give Mahmound another chance to clear the air. So our people (Soldier Boy and one of Gwen Stefani's Asian women) contacted Ahmadinejad's people (Borat and Charo) and here we go... an Ugh News Exclusive!!

The Interview

Conrad: First I'd like to thank you so much for your interview today. We're a tiny little blog and even though you were a little tardy, we know your busy and we just really appreciate your time.

Ahmadinejad: You should be honored by my lateness. That I would even show up to this fake shit. So go ahead go nuts go ape shit. Especially in my pastel, all my bape shit. Act like you can't tell who made this. New gospel homey, take six, and take this, haters.

C: ...Ok, let's just get right into it then. What about allegations that you have authorized a secret “man” in your administration to continue your plan to enrich uranium to produce nuclear weapons, even after a UN sanction that request that you stop.

A: I don't know if you got a man or not. If you made plans or not. If God put me in your plans or not. I'm trippin', this drink got me sayin' a lot.

C: Cute Mr. Ahmadinejad and very well played.. very well played. But how do you explain recent reports that your original itinerary to NY included a visit to the Ellen show, but upon learning her sexuality you declined.

A: Heard they'd do anything for a Klondike. Well I'd do anything for a blonde dyke. And she'll do anything for the limelight. And we'll do anything when the time's right

C: So you're saying that you still might do it? Am I hearing you correctly?

A: N-n-now th-that that don't kill me. Can only make me stronger. I need you to hurry up now. Cause I can't wait much longer

C: One last question, any fun plans while your in Philly?

A: Let's get lost tonight. You can be my black Kate Moss tonight. Play secretary I'm the boss tonight. And you don't give a fuck what they all say, right?

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C: Oh, Mr. Ahmadinejad, I think you have the wrong idea about me. Plus, I just got out of weird relationshipy thing, I'm just not really strong enough to get back in the game...

A: You know how long I've been on ya? Since prince was on Apollonia. Since OJ had Isotoners. Don't act like I (never) told ya

C: I-I just don't know Mahmoud.. can this be right?

A: I know I got to be right now. Cause I can't get much wronger. Man I been waitin' all night now. That's how long I've been on ya.

C: Ok! Yes!.. Yes!! I'll go with you.

A: Ugh, baby you're makin' it harder, better, faster, stronger.

Ok, well I'm gonna go show Mr. Ahmadinejad how to make a “cheese steak wit” if you know what I mean. Here's that video.. someone's got some explain' to do.

2,000th Hit

In a little over 2 weeks Ugh has been viewed over 2,000 times!!

Thanks Philly..

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You're soo sexy!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Serra Leone Ain't Got Nothing On D-D-D-Diamond Girl

Philly's latest DJ Va-Jay-Jay (Oprah talk) opens up about her biggest Faux Pas'...

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You may remember Diamond Girl on her training wheels at last year's Hands & Knees. Now she's back!.. DJ-ing Jonny Sorber's monthly Faux Pas and is quickly becoming that girl everyone is talking about.

Lady Diamond sits down with Ugh and lets us know what she wants to see you doin' on the dance floor, why she don't like no phonies and, how she plans to break into the fashion world! Go head girl...

The Interview

Conrad: Ms. Diamond, how did you get into DJ'ing?

Diamond Girl: I'm going to have to give most, if not all of the credit to John Redden for getting me into DJ'ing. I've always wanted to, ever since I started going out, but I never would've gone for it, had he not got me started.

C: Who were you're biggest influences coming into the game?

D: Well naturally, John Redden & Ian St. Laurent were big influences while at H&K, which was were I got my start, thanks to them. I also always admired Dave P for throwing probably some of the biggest, most fun parties in Philly.

C: You've gotten some press on as being an up-and-coming/“it” DJ, how does that make you feel? And how do you turn those rumblings into real success?

D: It makes me feel good to know people have noticed, I almost feel like I should try harder to live up to the "it" DJ title. I'm not exactly sure how to be successful, I just take every gig I'm offered and try to network as much as possible. [ooo girl, that's the hooker method, but also the foundation of our business model here at Ugh..]

C: On the flip side, how do you deal with naysayers, people who may think you're more of a face than a DJ? Is it more difficult being a lady who spins?

D: I haven't heard any negativity from anyone about DJ'ing, or at least it hasn't gotten to me. I don't think there's that much of a difference between being a dude that spins or a chick that spins. I hope people see me as a serious DJ, not just some girl that's trying to look cool.

C: “Diamond Girl” can have a lot of different meanings, where does your name come from?

D: I actually got my name from Steven Bloodbath. He always called me Diamond Girl after I requested the song once while he was DJ'ing. It's a really cheesy 90s dance track by Nice'n'Wild.

C: What's you're favorite thing about DJ'ing?

D: I love playing all my favorite songs and watching people, as well as my friends, freak out when they hear them. And it's just really satisfying to drop a track at the exact right moment & have it sound perfect.

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C: What do you do? Where do you work?

D: I work at a retail place in my home town, and just about full time too because I don't go to school. I did go to a community college for more than a year for fine arts, but that really bored me and I started to hate it. What I really want to do is something in the fashion industry. I've wanted to be a designer forever, but I'd be happy doing just about anything involving fashion. I just need to find the right school and I will eventually.

C: Where do you look for fashion? Where do you shop?

D: When the Style channel used to show runway shows all the time, I was constantly watching it. But that's over now, so I like to look in magazines and the people around me for new styles and ideas. Honestly, one of my favorite stores is H&M, not only because of how cheap everything is, but how even stuff I bought years ago is still wearable. It's not over-the-top trendy, I also like American Apparel for the same reasons, but who doesn't? [true.]

C: What do you look for in guys? Are you dating now?

D: I'm sure everyone says this but I really love guys that can make me laugh a lot without trying too hard. And obviously honesty and a sense that they're genuine in their words and actions is key, I don't like phonies. I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Adam and he's super cute.

What's your Ugh-pinion on...

Hillary vs. Obama?

Too early for politics...

Sal's or Silk?

Definitely Silk, the decor alone wins it.

Me (Conrad)?

I think you look like a model, I don't really know you enough to have an “Ugh-pinion” on your personality though. [I'm an orphan, so that made me feel good...]

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Truly one of the nicest people in Philly.
Thanks Diamond Girl!

And on a completely unrelated note...

Let me borrow that top bitch!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Even God Likes Thrift Stores

What would Jesus do?.. Shop 'till he drops! Then resurrect himself and shop some more.. That's just how he was y'all.

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And not just anywhere either. We're pretty sure he'd get most of his gear at Fishtown's little miracle of a thrift store, Circle Thrift. Located at Frankford and Norris streets, we stumbled on this proverbial shopper's heaven after some serious hype from a friend. We got in our FlexCar and were off...

The Christian shop has a good collection of vintage wear for men and women, mostly women's though. Attractive housewares upstairs, books, furniture, all the basics for your pad plus non-stupid gift ideas. Who wouldn't want a vintage four-slice toaster for Yom Kippur..

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[Btw, why is everyone talking about Holidays already?!?]

Simply picture Retrospect.. add some soul.. and real thrift store prices. Nothing, by the way, was over $6! Not even South Philly's Goodwill comes close to these bargains. And you have Circle, you have to check it out! And not to make light of their cause, Circle Thrift's message of love and community is really just what a lot of this city needs right now.

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Photos by Louisa

Leave Center City and Britney Alone!

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And there's no better place to leave Center City or Britney alone than Rocket Cat Cafe, next to Circle Thrift, in F-town.

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Make a day of it and, um... Let's be honest with each other here.. There is really nothing I can say that is going to be funnier than the video below. So, just watch it already and we'll call it a day.

Photos by Louisa

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Adidas and Nike and Converse, Oh My

Everyone loves a fresh pair. Whether they be old school Converses, high top Nikes or um.. ok well, honestly I don't know that much about sneakers. I'm more of a boot guy. But let's face it, the shoe game has been ridiculous for some time now, from bright and bold to dingy and dirty.

For some history on the shoe craze Ugh's Erin B talks to a self proclaimed shoe-xpert, Richie Roxas (of Hail Social) and gets to the bottom of it all.

[DISCLAIMER... Yes, the language is going to shoe-tinue like this. So shoe-deal with it.]

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Erin B: When did your shoe-bsession begin?

Richie: I started collecting and buying around '94, but I didn't realize I was obsessed until about '95 or '96. At the time, sneaker collecting wasn't really a "thing," at least in America. Japanese kids and Euro kids were already collecting Jordans and Adidas around this time, but in America only a few kids were collecting, and it was just out of love and fascination, not really 'cause it was a cool thing to do. For me, it kinda started out from skateboarding. Shoes would get so trashed from skating, so I'd get like a new pair every month. Then it became this thing where it wasn't even about a pair to skate in anymore, it was just like, get a new pair to look fresh in and walk around in. It started out like, I wore skate shoes to skate in, then when I was just hangin' at the mall following girls around (but being too scared to talk to them), I'd still be wearing the same beat up skate shoes. And then it became this thing of like, I need shoes to skate in and then separate shoes to just chill in. So I started buying classic Adidas and Pumas and stuff, 'cause those were more for chilling and not really for skating. Me and my friends used to steal other kid's sneakers from the locker rooms during gym class, 'cause we became so obsessed with running shoes. But we could never wear them in school the next day, 'cause the kids would see us wearing 'em and want 'em back... so we'd steal shoes and then take 'em home and only wear 'em hangin' at the mall or in the city outside of school.

EB: Do you remember the first time you justified shelling out big bucks for a new pair of kicks? What's the most you've ever spent on a pair of trainers?

R: Yes, it was '96, my junior year of high school... I am, and always was, obsessed with New Balance. I paid $180 for a pair of New Balance 1600, they are real classic, grey and blue, and one of the few New Balances where the "N" is actually stitched out on the side of the shoe, not the typical "N" that is stitched on, if that makes any sense. At the time, they were the most expensive pair of running shoes on the market, and they remain one of my fav. running shoes of all time. I still have them, but they are beat the fuck up. Now I have a 2nd pair that are on their way to getting beat up as well and they just re-released 'em in Japan in some cool colors.

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Oh yeah, to answer the 2nd question, the most I've spent on a pair is $350. If I was rich and had more money to burn, I think id easily spend $1000 on one pair, but more than that is a little silly to me. I guess $1000 sounds silly to most people anyhow, so maybe I'm totally craytarded...

EB: How many pairs of tennies do you own?

R: Over 200, but under 250, not sure exactly how many. I don't own a single pair of Nikes, 'cause I think they're the worst. I've actually only bought maybe 5 pairs this year, 'cause everything that comes out these days totally bums me out. "Tennies"....that's super west coast, yo!

EB: What do you think is the perfect pair of loafers? Is there a recipe for a good pair of pumps?

R: This is a tough question, my fav. shoe of all time is the Adidas Superstar (shelltoe). It's just timeless and classic and you can never own too many. If I ever get a cat again, I'd like to name to name him/her "shelltoe." Or should I just name my baby that? My 2nd fav. shoe of all time is the New Balance 1300, which is probably not in anyone else's top 10 even, it's just a personal favorite, insanely underrated.

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Man, I'm just realizing what a nerd I am by answering these questions...haha! As far as pumps go, Im not really knowledgeable on females' pumps/ heels, but I could tell you a good recipe for Reebok Pumps ! ha!

EB: Who do you think has the greatest sneaker style?

R: Fuck, I don't know… I don't really look up to anyone as far as who has great sneaker style, especially 'cause my taste is so different from the usual sneaker fan. I guess any early to mid 90's graffiti writer or skateboarder… that's the era I grew up with, so that's who I identify with. My friend Bryan has pretty good sneaker style. Also, Euros and Japanese kids have way better sneaker style than Americans.

EB: Is it proper street fashion to keep your toe snugglers on while making love?

R: Hell no! Once you have 'em in bed… take 'em off! You've already won! Show 'em your wang instead of your footwear! But you're asking the wrong person 'cause girls hate me and I have the worst luck with girls, anyway!

EB: What's the one pair of bottom dogs people need to get for the fall?

R: fuck, this is a good question. I'm a super traditional guy, so my tastes might be different than most. I still believe in wearing the bright, kooky stuff for summer, using the earthtones for fall, and the klunky, chunky stuff for winter. Maybe I'm behind the times and it's ok to wear rainbow, day glo stuff all year round, but that's not for me. It kinda turns me off actually. Also, Vans totally slayed it, hands down, they put out the best shoes this year. Even though I try to rock vintage ones only, I can't deny that I've been tempted to buy a pair or two of some new joints. Part of me says ditch the Vans and leave them behind in the spring/summer, but part me is loving some of the prints they've been doing lately, which would be totally appropriate for fall. There is a particular pair of Vans that I'm hunting down now, but I don't wanna reveal which ones, 'cause I don't want anyone else to have 'em! Am I an asshole? I'm also loving Reebok Classics and Filas right now, but that's the '94 white trash side of my brain talking...

[Oooohhh, Richie I know you hate Nikes but Conrad likey...]

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Co-Written by Erin B

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

UPenn Kids Learn Economics, Lack Common ¢ents

What many of us who've work in-and-around the service industry have know for years, is now official; Upenn kids don't tip, ever.. or care about it.

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The beginning of fall brings more than just earlier evenings and stripped cardigans. For us young folk working in Philadelphia's gigantic food and service industry it brings back university students. Yuck. And yuckiest of them all, those from Upenn.

These halflings are somewhere between “Too Cool for School High and Center for Self Entitlement” and “Too Wealthy and Republican Relations provided by Trust Fund Corporation.”

But fret no more young folk of Philadelphia. I, here and now, in an Ugh News first, offer my assistance, as a professor, to the University of Pennsylvania. To teach a course in Service Tipping and Human Contact.

My demands are obvious and nonnegotiable. First, I'd like a large adult pony.. Secondly, I want a DJ night at Silk City that is more popular and more cool than Steven Bloodbath's Mo Money No Problems.. And lastly, I'd like a big enough salary to keep me knee deep in fine young pussy for as long as I can stand to live. Ok.. ok, I am clearly joking about the pony. I'd settle for Ford Hybrid with optional backseat love bed.

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The class would center around three simple-to-learn ideals.

  1. Recognize that you are being provided a service. Yes, waiters at Le Beck Fin are one kind of service. But so is the cute chap who pours your coffee in the mornings. That's why there is that empty cup on the counter with scribble on it that says something like “Tipping's not a city in China.”

  2. Tip for the service.

  3. Repeat steps 1&2.

Well, maybe that doesn't need to be taught in a class so much as maybe on a pamphlet. But I still want that pony, University of Pennsylvania, don't think I've forgotten.

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

Oh Paul, You're Sooo Philthy

You must be completely retarded not to have noticed Philly's newest king of the click, click-clicking photos all around town and posting them on his ever growing site. But if you happen to be retarded I'll let you in on the secret... IT's PAUL, BITCH! (not related to, it's Britney, bitch. That's copyrighted now.)

An Ugh News first! Paul sits down with us to explain how a military man sees Philly's nightlife and how he plans to change it... and answers the question on all of our minds, are we all really just vain or is this art?

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The Interview

Conrad: How long have you lived in Philly?

Paul: I am actually in the process of moving back to philly. I have been been in and around Philadelphia since 1997. I had a long term relationship with a girl that lived in Philly so a lot of my time was in the city. [Ladies, I think that means he's single!] I lived in Fishtown for a bit with some friends and I am heading over to live in the UPenn area at the end of the month, due to the fact that I'm attending the art institute.

C: What is your background? Did you go to school for photography?

P: My personal background revolves in art, music and technology. I took photography in high school, but due to enlisting in the army [Say what?!?]...I didn't have a lot of time for my hobby at the time.

C: Before, how active would you say you were in Philly nightlife?

P: I have always been around in Philly's nightlife, I've been going out to shows and clubs since I was 17. I have been performing a electro/industrial act for the past 10 years and that has kept me coming out and involved in the underground music scene.

C: How active are you now?

P: I think I'm pretty active, cause I am always very tired.. which means I must be doing a good job at going out!

C: What made you want to photograph nightlife? Is it more than that?

P: I saw that Philadelphia didn't really have a big photography website that came from a particularly artistic angle. I spend a lot of time going through the pictures I take to find the ones that have a certain look that I am catering to.

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C: You once ran a zine that is now looking for a new moderator. Does Philthy express your creativeness better than the zine did?

P: Casey G. is the driving force behind Triczine, I merely aid him with his duties. Casey and I are looking for someone who wants to take an established paper zine and take the online version it to a new level. Triczine has a large reader base and we are looking to make the paper version more artistic and leave the music/video/venue reviews to the web version.

Philthy is supposed to embody the action and energy that is very apparent in our nightlife, clearly put I want people around the world to see the fun that we are having, and that NYC isn't the only place to party. [Perfectly put Paul]

C: Were you afraid that Philthy would be seen as a copy of other such sites, Yapsnaps or Hands and Knees? Do you give a damn?

P: I don't feel that my photography mimics any of the other photographers in Philadelphia. I feel that Angelo and Jonathan have their own unique flavor.

C: You're site has gotten very popular very quickly. Why do you think this is?

P: I think it's gotten a lot of attention due to the fact that I socialize with people and follow up and keep in contact with those people whom pictures I post... I also drop my card wherever I go. [I have 2 I think]

C: Seriously though, you went from updates every couple of days with a couple of hundred of site visitors to now practically daily updates with thousands of hits. Do you think this is just young Philadelphians looking for a new myspace photos? Or is it maybe more than that?

P: I think it's people that see some good photography and want to see what's going on in their town. I saw some hits from across the globe, and I'm sure a lot of that is from my myspace friends looking in from bulletin posts and showing their friends..but hey I think word of mouth is some of the best promotion. I also like to network with other artists so perhaps in the future maybe more photographers could come into the fold once the website starts to expand out of my control.

C: Do you think anyone could take these photos with the same amount of success as you or does it take a special kind?

P: I definitely think you have to be able to catch certain moments or have that "eye"..the same as someone would say you have an eye for fashion...etc...One of my fellow photographers said to me " it's not the camera, its the operator "

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C: The updates on your page are so funny and often now talk about how tiered you are, of course you are, your literally everywhere, any plans to take a break?

P: My sanity is held together by always keeping myself busy, if I don't have anything to do I feel like I'm wasting my time...which is why if I'm not out taking pictures, I am working on music production or at work...

C: What do you get out of this? Is it just all about having fun?

P: I plan to build something great out of this site. I would love to see it as the epicenter of subculture in Philadelphia. I have some friends over at pixelboy design who are helping me recode the website. You can expect to see the website become more interactive sometime this Philly promoters a place to post about their upcoming not only can you see what happened at last night but figure out what to do with your night if you cant figure out what to do...I was also presented with a proposition for clothing as well...There are lot of opportunities for this website to become so much more than just a photography website. I can't wait to see what becomes of it...

C: Ok so, what's your favorite DJ night? Where do you have the most fun?

P: I really don't have a favorite, it really depends on the company I'm with. I have fun with my friends, and it doesn't really matter the location. As far as aesthetics, I like the look and feel that Silk City gives out.

What's your Ugh-pinion on...

The Iraq war?

Its turned into a horrible quagmire. I spent 8 years in the army, so i know a lot of what soldiers go through on a day to day basis. Its very sad to see that we still have this lunatic running our country and has created such a distaste for the idea of what it is to be American. Its basically going to end up being another Vietnam.

Britney Spears?

She had a good run for her money, she should have stepped out of the limelight when she had a chance...but hey...reality TV show rules America.. so she's just playing along with the game... maybe a sex tape could give her a boost.

ABC's “Lost”?

Sorry, I never got into this series... I stopped following network TV a long time ago. I have been watching The Young Ones (BBC) box set over and over again while i work on my computer... I am really into DVD box sets ( Curb your Enthusiasm, The Critic, etc ) So now you all know what to buy me for a present.

Thanks so much Paul. We all are looking forward to the new coming later this month. Here's one more of your favorite photos... and don't get too excited y'all it's probably not of you.

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Monday, September 10, 2007

Gimme, Gimme S'mores

Holy shit guys, Britney Spears' is completely FUCKED...

Opening the 2007 VMA's were suppose to stage her “comeback”, instead we just got her back fat, bad lip syncing and “stand heavy” choreography that could have been challenged by any animal at Sea World. Spears' spoiled her opportunity to win our respect and may have finally proven she doesn't deserve another chance.

In case you didn't see, here's her performance.

Ms. Britney was seen all over Las Vegas this weekend at parties and shops, anywhere but her rehearsals and was asked several times by the media if she even thought she'd be ready by Sunday. The answer clearly now, NO!.

Brit looked tiered, out of shape and completely disconnected. That aside from her noticeably excited grin right before a synthesized voice proclaims “it's Britney, bitch!”and it was, whether anyone cares or not is the real question.

According to fellow musicians and attendees at the annual MTV event, like Kayne West, who's album drops Tuesday, the opening spot could have been used by anyone who's actually sold a record in the past 5 years. That's a really good point.

I don't think she's completely done yet. Honestly there's probably too much money invested in her now for anyone to give up, looks like you got your work cut out for you Brit. And no one gives a damn.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Step Off iPhone

Let's play anagrams!

Apple's iPhone : New York City ::

____________ : Philadelphia

If you said the “GatBerry”, you might be right.

The Gatberry is a new phone that combines the original BlackBerry with a... well, with a gun, glued on top or something. And while the Apple iPhone combines countless technologies; phone, internet, iPod, camera and personal organizer with sleek styling, innate handling and unmatched convenience. It may be the case that for Philadelphians at least, real convenience comes with the combined technologies of being able to shoot an attacker and call 911 at the same time. It might not get you a date with a sexy girl, hell it might not even be legal. But think of it this way. In a couple of years when Nutter puts us under civil law and the crime rate comes down a bit, the iPhone will be super cheap and they'll have worked out all the kinks.

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China, A Poem

No, they don't like vaginas in China,

They all think that men are just finer,

If one gets through, they'll make her goo

And try again till it's outside her!

Lead from China and Cancer from Popcorn

Lead in toys from China, again; Nuclear missiles fly over US; 9/11; and now Microwave popcorn causes Cancer... opps! So, Scared yet?

With so many things to be scared about theses day let me run down the latest in case you've missed your local news cast the past couple of days:

-More toys from Mattel are being recalled, this is now the third recall, due to high levels of lead in paint. While officials admit that the situation with Chinese made products is only guaranteed to grow because... and I'm not joking you. Most companies don't really test their foreign made products as well as they have all said they did. It turns out that Mattel is probably a bit of a good guy here taking the heat as one of the first company out there trying to actually be honest. Look forward to Chinese made products continuing to be recalled. Trust bitches. Oh and our president... still not putting pressure on China or the US companies to change anything. Surprise, surprise. Maybe that's because China owns about a third of our debt. I guess you really can't bit the hand that feeds you. Even if it's feeding you lead... in toys.. that kids play with.

-And then get this. After a four hour flight from North Dakota to Louisiana it was discovered upon landing that an Army aircraft was accidentally loaded with 6 highly sensitive nuclear bombs... yes, nuclear bombs. The bombs held six times the explosive power that blew up Hiroshima, Japan in WW2. Opps, y'all. No one knows how the mishap occurred but the Army is going to take some time on Tuesday to figure that out. Yeah, maybe you should. If can know where Lindsay Lohan is at all times I think the army should know where all the Nuclear weapons are at all times?

-Well you saw the clip, microwaved popcorn causes cancer, maybe... well it did in some rats, but no it's not conclusive... we are just gonna like, take a couple of years and see if it really does... you know... well cause that, we'll let you know.

Come on, of course microwaves are bad for you. Like your mom, or at least your tv mom always told you “If it's too good to be true, it's probably no good.” you shouldn't be able to make Mac and Cheese in 1 minute or defrost a turkey in 10 or whatever people do with microwaves. There retartedly unnatural. But do I still use one to warm up my almond croissant in the mornings, yes. While a lot of things in our lives are dangerous the real harm comes when we worry so much that we can't go one day without thinking “I wonder if they can fly Segways into a building?”

Tune out all of that media and use the intuition you were born with.


Oh one more thing,

Hillary Clinton's Sopranos parody that's been “leaked” all over you-tube is , for me, having the total opposite effect than it intents. Making her seem more like the robot from Mars bitch she is constantly claiming she is not. And worst off, kind of reminding me why I really loved the original Clinton.

Whatever. I still love the bitch. Hillary08!

And last thing. I'm getting kinda bored with tv producers using you-tube and other such sties as hype generators. I mean how many SNL skits are really that funny yet “Dick in a Box” is still the most viewed You-Tube video of all time. That's some shit. I just think the more we give in to these schemes the more power we give them and the less power we have at creating and viewing original content on the Internet. Before you know it You-Tube will look more like NBCCBSABC-Tube.

*Extra* Found this poem that aired on the Johnny Carson Show. It's beautiful. Take a listen...