Monster Hands

Grab your shotguns because this weekend I had a hell of an epiphany about shot-gunning things.

Not only does poking a hole in a can and pulling a tab cut drinking time in half, but it will get you hyphy as fuck and fierce face all over the sideshow. I dare you to prove me wrong.

In fucking fact, I declare this to be the winter of shotguns, next time any of you see me out (which can't be too many, because honestly who reads this joke of a horseshit "blog"), hand me something unopened (within reason) and i'll drink the hell out of it.



Anyway, so I'm standing sitting here in front of you a computer, to say two little things...

Firstly, when did it get so dicking cold outside? I understand seasons changing and all that, but why so damn quick? These southern bones get cold quicker then you yankees, and despite the so called fashion positives of cold weather accessorizing, it does make it increasingly harder to tell who of you out there are uggos. Gnar gnar bodies hidden under layers fancy clothes. NOT COOL MAN. Throw me a bone Philly, why did we have to skip autumn?

Secondly, here's the new podcast. Seriously, chop this sucker up and suck it right into your ears. It has pretty songs on it.

second verse, same as the first.
get it right here.

tracklist:
1 - Cornelius - Breezin'
2 - Everything, Now! - The Birth of Ugly Magic
3 - Dodo Bird - Horny Hippies
4 - Black Diamond Heavies - Fever in my Blood
5 - Arizona - Some Kind Of Chill
6 - Ringo Deathstarr - Sweet Girl
7 - Black Moth Super Rainbow - Sun Lips
8 - The Intelligence - Dating Cops
9 - Tenlons Fort - Ghost on a Hill

Also, if any of you clicked on the link in my last entry, you're gross.

Posted by idiot of the year, Jason Turner

Voodoo Ice

I drew this picture on the elevator in the building I work in. I only have a phone on my camera so needless to say, thats the best I've got.


Hell of an intro... Alright, so Conrad has been asking me for weeks to post something on this thing, I'd like to say begging and pleading, but honestly I'm not that self-important. The truth is, every time I start to write something it turns into either me bitching about blogs, or somehow getting caught up looking at synonyms for boners on wikisaurus (seriously, look it up, it's hilarious and totally safe for work).


So we talked about it, and figured I should share one of the (maybe) three things I know about in this world. Thus, we here at Ugh News are proud to give you our very first podcast. Download it, put it on your iPod or (if you're poor) your crap mp3 player, put your headphones on and go for a nice (little over thirty minute) walk. Enjoy.


Quick tutorial first...
CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PODCAST
If you are new to this, click the above link and your iTunes should open up and you will see our podcasts in your podcast directory (if you don't have iTunes, your life is a mess, catch up on the last five years you've wasted and download it). once subscribed, you can then download the ones you so desire. once we get this sucker going you can then just "refresh" your podcast directory and the next available podcast will be available. It's really that simple. Have fun.


Written and Podcast by Jason Turner