TVs Be Gone Part I

... Remember when moms had to yell at their kids to quit playing outside and come in the house? I don't, but I saw that shit a lot on TV...

(Nice Gap cord jumper faggot... =)

Have you all heard about Wolfram Hahn? In 2006 he photographed a handful of children between the ages of 3 and 12 for an exhibit called, A disenchanted Playroom. The children, seen above, carry sad/despondent expressions. In the words of the artist,

“... with facial expressions rather to be associated with adults, unusual for children this age.”

The children were photographed watching TV.

“As such they seem lifeless like dolls, or bodies bereft of their spirits.”

I grew up watching TV, and a lot of it. That's pretty common these days. But do we know what it's doing/what it's done?

If these kids faces are any measure, it might be time to toss the tube.

Written by Conrad

Clinton Campaigner Ru(i)ns Philly Debate

... All the while PA voters praise ABC's rich engaging questions and overall fairness and respect for the two Democratic Presidential candidates leading to an in depth evaluation of the differences of agendas concerning the Iraq war, the environment, and the deepening economic disaster... (J/K, motherfuckers is mad! AND WE IS TOO!)

The “debate” held Wednesday at the National Constitution Center looked more like a tabloid driven Obama trial more than anything resembling questions asked to help Pennsylvanians pick a President.

George Stephanopoulos (a FUCKING forming Clinton senior political adviser) and Charles Gibson (ok in our book until this week) “moderated” the event whose lines of questioning were as wide as...

“Mr. Obama, why do you hate the American flag?”

“Mr. Obama, does your ex-pastor love America as much as you?”

“Mr. Obama, could you explain your link to the 1960's Vietnam era militant Weather Underground organization?”

In fact, of the 90 minute “debate” the first 51 were spent on rich questions like that. Completely trash, and completely unimportant. Going to the last commercial break Gibson announced, “well, we're running out of time...” which tipped the audience to begin booing. Where were the issues, where was the substance? We all wanted to know.

Everyone from bloggers to main stream newsies to Soulja Boy (video below) had some shit to talk about ABC News, Stephanopoulos and Gibson...

On a positive note, we've learned a valuable lesson... Here's our chance... Let's use this aggravation to push these kinds of debates out of the hands of companies that just want ratings to make money. And demand truly independent debates.

Written by Conrad

OMG, Shoes

... So, it looks like Erin is going main (indie) stream... Ugh News searches for new "ginger" editor... Must haves: cute; good dresser; laughs at my jokes; wakes me up before 2pm on my days off.



Mew Gallery Presents...
The Works of Erin Broadhurst and Lauren DiMemmo
April 26 - June 6, 2008

This series of works is a collaboration with my other half, a 4 1/2 year old black lab. Napali has worked diligently over the past several months to destroy my most prized possessions: vintage heels. This is an ode to my dog, and a memoir of love lost.

-Erin Broadhurst


Come check it out...
Opening Reception 4/26 from 5 to 9pm
Mew Gallery
906 Christian Street (at 9th)
Philadelphia, PA



Written by Conrad, Photos by Erin

Fags Flock To H(illary)ag

... Also In The News: Thunder believed to follow lightning; and, After a string of cavities, South Philadelphia boy fesses to lying about brushing his teeth before bed...

(Chelsea's Thinking: "God my mom is such a Hag... I hope I won't have to do shit like this when they make me run in 2024!)

While the slue of gay support recently thrown at Hillary Clinton doesn't surprise us. It does seem a little like throwing a life preserver at an illegal immigrant capsized in the Golf... Either way, she's going home. (Not that you shouldn't throw a life preserver at someone drowning.)

What does surprise us is the gay media's obsession with painting Obama as somehow anti-gay and altogether ignoring Clinton's record. (As First Lady she consistently wore white after labor day... Unscrupulous twat.)

Come on, wasn't it Bill Clinton who, and I'll quote Melissa Etheridge here, “threw us under the bus with Don't Ask Don't Tell?” And wasn't it Hillary who didn't rebuke Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Peter Pace when he called homosexuality, “immoral,” until later pressed about it at the Logo gay rights debates?

Hillary's record simply does not show a decisive track over Barak Obama for supporting gay rights. Hell, neither of them even support gay marriage.

However, if you wanna get nit-picky... we can. On the Defense of Marriage Act, that thing that would re-write the constitution making it illegal to recognize gay marriage, ever. Obama supports a full repeal which, would allow over time lower courts in the judicial branch to legalize gay marriage in cities and states. While Clinton only supports a partial repeal that only effects the law on a federal level. (Those whom engage in nit-picking shall be nit-picked.)

And the hubbub last week with Mrs. Clinton doing an interview with Philadelphia Gay News and Mr. Obama not doing it, is completely laughable. It would be like either of the leading Democratic Presidential candidates doing or not doing and interview with Citypaper or Ugh News.

Look, we could nit-pick all day, but the fact is we have two very gay-friendly Democratic Presidential candidates and we should be excited. They might not go all the way with us, but hey, after a drink or two maybe they'll wanna spoon or something.

Plus, picking a candidate on one issue is whack. Pick a second issue, or a third, or fourth... Just don't pick a President that believes in creationism.

Written by Conrad, with some info from the Washington Post

Missing: Advertisers With A Sense Of Morality

... Also Missing: Morals Not Based On What We've Learned From Advertising...

Fake 'missing' signs were put up around the city yesterday, taped to trees and lampposts. Missing signs that are usually put up by sad/helpless individuals holding on to their last hopes of finding missing relatives, or family pets, or even personal belongings. Were all out shined by the dozens of advertisements mocking their sensationalism.

The 'missing' signs were put up by advertisers to sell Zyrtec, a drug used by allergy suffers.

This leaves me wondering... Isn't the Mountain Dew "graffiti" ad at the end of my block enough, or the Sprint coffee sleeve at my coffee shop, or the fact that from my computer chair I can count, hold on... 8 trademarked logos without even moving my head? I guess not.

According to Adbusters, an average North American citizen will be advertised to over 5,000 a day. By now, you are a master at ignoring them. Thus pushing desperate advertisers scrambling to find the next thing that can catch your eyes.

Their pursuits are disgusting.

Alert Ugh To Scummy Advertisers Around The City...
Send photos and stories to UghNews@gmail.com

I wonder what all of these advertisements are doing to our brains... Seriously. Are they quietly shaping what we think? How we perceive and value things, ideas and people? Or even, how we act and interact with each other? Talk about, Ugh News...

Written by Conrad

UR So Gay

... Did we mention how much we hate abbreviations in song lyrics?...

(Philebutarded About Celebrities: Girls with see-through purses can see through your gay bullshit... But also, they look like sluts when they are trying to look like they are having the MOST fun at the club... We can see through that bullshit Ms. Perry.)

In a world where making fun of girls is the norm, and hell, just plain fun... Katy Perry pulls the designer rug out from under the boys. Hope you can handle it fellas...

(Spoiler alert: If you're a guy, and read Ugh News, there is a good chance this song is about you.)

We'd also like to mention that this could have easily been a shitty song that no one cared about, however there's something about the melody and Katy's voice that are just kind of... haunting. Dare we say, Fionna Apple-esc... (We totally dared.)

Written by Conrad, Photos from Katy Perry's Flickr

Boo Hoo... My Pussy Hurts

I think that both Joeys are fucking retarded...
Kiss already.

Your little slap fight sounds a lot like this little kid making arm pit farts...



Joey Conrad - you're a clueless hypocritical fuck wad.
Too Old For This Joey - you're a pompous cunt face.


I'm the best.
Look at me.
I rule at blogging.


<3>

Aging Blog Limps On

... Philadelphia's hottest 'listings' site uses some left over words to form a thought... All the while quickly ceasing whatever edge they ever had...

“Dickhurt” doesn't even begin to describe how we felt when we were emailed the story posted about us on Tuesday... Felt more like a dick sucking. Don't worry though, we won't cum in your mouth, we promise.

And in response to Philebutards, Philebrity made a stunning observation. Get ready... blogs want attention, and can get it by making fun of bigger blogs. Thanks, Philebrity!

Thats right, Big Sweeney (founder of most blogs starting with Ph) took a minute from talking about his favorite bands and posting local news stories that he read on 6abc.com (with plenty of new adjectives of course) to actually write... something.

Wow, quite honestly we were surprised by how easy it was to wake the Blog Giant.

But seriously, it's kind of sad that Joey missed the boat on this one. As we see it here at Ugh News, we live in a singular world where everyone wants to be a celebrity and our culture is obsessed with the Self. Seems obvious that not only would people probably not mind being made fun of, but to highlight their photos out of the hundreds posted daily makes them even more famous, no matter what we say about them.

The best we can hope for is that people begin to take themselves less seriously, lighten up a bit and get out of that Self for a second.

That's when the cool part sets in, when people start to realize that it doesn't matter how tight your pants are, or if your hair gets frizzy today, or if you look a little pudgy in that one photo. And you can scroll down to an article about the real shit we need to be talking about... Genocides in Darfur, or Boycotting the Beijing Olympics, or how Comcast is probably committing the first Internet crimes by limiting service to certain web sites.

And the idea that the people we make fun of “can't fight back” is completely misrepresentative of what really happens. In fact, just hours after we posted the article, we were torn apart for how mean and, “pot-calling-kettle” like, we were, all by regular people. The idea that only Big Blog Giants like Sweeney have voices is exactly the outdated and antiquated thinking that looms over Philebrity.

So, what exactly is Papa Joey worried about?

Remember when you we're younger and MTV was really cool? And then there was VH1 too, and you would always kinda flip by VH1 when MTV was running commercials, but there was never anything good on, so you would just flip back to MTV.
Well, Philebrity = VH1, not to say that we're MTV, but... yeah, maybe we're a young MTV.

Look Mr. Sweeney, if you can't see the comeuppance of an interesting, edgy, educated, young blog past your beer belly... maybe you should sit down.

Written by Conrad Benner

Interesting side point: “Cut” isn't exactly the best way to say that I stopped sending you articles. And, where's “Talkin' Shit” now? Kind of got boring after I left, huh.

... U mad Philebrity? Dare you to write about this one.