I know we haven't seen much of each other lately... And I know it's mostly my fault. Hell, it's probably all my fault. You've been nothing but an angel to me from the start. I know... I know, I've been a pretty crappy BF these past 2 weeks ('blog friend'.) It's just that things got so hot, so heavy, and so confusing, so quickly. I was barely ready for it all.
One minute it's just the two of us talking about how Britney fucked up the VMA's, next minute we got the whole town in our pockets, sippin' on the finest City Specials this side of Broad, interviewing bands I've never even heard of, even had Philebrity toss our name around. That's how cool we were kitten face.
And you know how I am with change and commitment. Jesus I didn't even pick an official all time fav Spice Girls song till 2 months ago and now their all back together and shit making new ones. I'm a hurt man, that's all I'm sayin'.
We became different people too, don't try and pretend otherwise. You were all talking about settling down, buying a real domain name, "getting out of this shit hole" as you explained it to me. Even talkin' about poppin' out a few advertisers. I wasn't ready for all that. All I wanted to do was live my life, street. Go out all night, sleep all day, get some food somewhere in the middle, do it all over again the next night. Maybe throw in an update every now and then to make you happy. I'm from Fishtown baby, that's just the way I was raised.
It didn't even really hit me... you know, that I wanted... no scratch that, needed you, till... till Kanye's mom died in that plastic surgery. It like woke me up and shit, you know? Like what if they found out me or you had plastic in us, and they had to remove it but one of us died and we could never talk again. That'd be fucked up. Real fucked up.
Now I'm not saying I'm gonna be able to change overnight. I'm still gonna go out with my pals now and then and get too drunk and maybe forget an update sometimes. I'm only human. And moreover, I'm only human, 22, and in Philly, where that's kinda the main event. But I promise you.. no, look me in the eyes.. I promise you I'll be the best BF I can be. I'll never forget to write about a fun DJ night I go to, or forget to write you on our aniversity and I'll even work on the whole, throwing-up-in-bed-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing you've been mad about. All for you baby, all for you.
Now that we've talked that one out and before we tuck one in (wink.) Let's update you Bitches. Since last we updated...
Courtney found out she's going to college, Temple to be more exact.
(Reenactment of receivement to acceptance letter.)
Jason's in a wheel chair. Chair with wheels to be more exact.
(Really he's just doing a 'sitting down shot gun', incidentally also his Indian name.)
Louisa thought Jason was really in a wheel chair for like a second.
(Reenactment of Louisa thinking Jason's in wheel chair.)
I, Conrad, hit on a straight dude.
(I really should know better by now.)
And Erin kept it fancy and is graduating college.
(Seen here with unknown photographer.)
Seriously though, we appreciate all the support we've gotten for this blog. We've just been a bunch of lazy drunks. And as always, if you know any fun things that we should know, email us at ughnews@gmail.com. Thanks y'all.
Written by Conrad Benner
1 comment:
Paul is so cute. This is my chance to put that out there. Anonymously.
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