Long time no post...

Busting Philadelphia's Myths

We live in a city of old myths, storied legends and sharp, sometimes unfair criticisms. Ugh is here to debunk or re-bunk those criticisms, legends and myths alike.

Myth #1: WiFi Philly

Classic myth. Earthlink says all of Philadelphia is now covered with the exception of the far Northeast and West.. coulda fooled me. I live in Center City, bought the thing for $6, and have no connectivity. Is this happening to anyone else? Apparently...

Myth #2: Short Sidewalks

It's been a long-lived notion that Philadelphia has short, or narrow, sidewalks due simply to it's history. Planned for in 1682 by William Penn and Joey Sweeney. Well before the inventions of things like cars, parking for cars, and outdoor café-style seating to hog up all the room.

Well, this is simply a myth. Philadelphia has short sidewalks for three very specific, very thought out reasons, all of which have the unfortunate side affect of pissing me off.

Reason 1. To let women with grocery bags in both hands feel nonchalant about not moving an inch to either side side of the sidewalk when you are trying to walk past them. Often leaving you stopped altogether between a tree and a fire hydrant waiting for the bitch to hurry up. Men on the other hand generally do move a little.

Reason 2. To make avoiding that mistake-of-a-one-night-stand you see walking around every now and then nearly impossible. And almost always extremely awkward and short.

“Hey,”

“Yeah,”

“How are you do...”

“Good, good and yo...”

“Great, I'm on my way to...”

“Oh cool, I won't hold you up th...”

“Awesome, see ya.”

“Yeah.”

Reason 3. And finally, to make groups of threes walking down South Street forget that a group of three takes up the entire walkway. Leaving an on comer paralyzed with confusion and rage, trying to nudge between two of them in an effort to make a point.

“Don't you know about sidewalk etiquette mother fuckers?”

But of course two on them are laughing about how cute they think the Jonas Brothers are, and the other is texting, and none notice how entirely useless they are being.

More myth busting to come. Stay Tuned.


Written by Conrad Benner

World War 3 Narrowly Avoided, Bush Upset

For months now Georgy and his boys have been building a case for war in Iran. Drilling us with the threat of Iranian nuclear weapons. (Weapons of mass destruction as it were.) On and on the administration droned,

"We must take serious action against this great threat."

The rhetoric towards the Iranian government reach an awkward and fevered pitch this past October when Bush freudianly let out his WW3 plan. Scratch that, I'm sure he means worst case scenario.

It was feeling like Iraq all over again. Jesus, I'd bet you most Americas think Iran and Iraq are the same country and wouldn't even know we'd have started a whole 'nother one.

Well didn't things get interesting when the information was leaked this week that not only has Iran NOT been doing shit with nuclear anythings. But that their nuclear plant had been shut down for over 4 years.

Our administration and our intelligence knew all about it, but continued to hold the information from us, the people. AKA they lied. To try to get us into another war. Like they lied, to get us in our current wars.

But I'm just me, opinionated as shit. For a little more "objective" coverage check out Politico.com, my new favorite political site! And I promise you completely non-boring.

Written by Conrad Benner

Gutter Fairy Vintage

Meet Jacci Stallone... One of my friends, one of the best dressers I know and the owner of Gutter Fairy Vintage.

Conrad: How did Gutter Fairy start?

Jacci: It officially started about 2 years ago. Another Ebay vintage store added me through myspace, and I was just like why did I not think of that first? I used to have my ex-boyfriend take pictures of me modeling the clothes, which usually ended up in a big fight, so it got out to a rather slow start. Also, I originally thought it would be a lot easier than it is. There is a lot of work behind having an ebay store and its difficult if you're also working a full time job and doing a lot of partying. I do have some help now from my beautiful models Alexis, and Kate. Hopefully soon I will also be working with local photographers such as Vincent from Stay Local, Paul from Philthy.us, and my friend Isaac from uhhhh West Philly, to make the shoots more professional looking. Now that I am a grown ass woman of 24, I feel I need to simmer down a little and be more serious about all of this.

C: Where do you find the clothes? (without giving any of your secrets away.) How many things are you selling right now?

J: I can't tell you where I shop, but I find all my clothes at thrift/secondhand stores for the most part. Also, many are from my own closet...things that I have worn once and can not be seen in again. Other items have been donated by friends. As they say, one man's junk is another man's treasure...right? I try to put up about 20 new items at a time. Hopefully soon I will become incredibly consistent with this and do it once a week. Like clockwork.


C: How would you describe your personal style and how does that effect what you sell? (For example, do you only sell stuff you'd wear?)

J: I don't really think I can describe my style. I feel like people try to label it a lot, or tell me "oh you look like ______(insert any famous female with black hair or bangs)"...most of the time I look nothing like these people. I wear whatever suits the mood I'm in, and this definitely changes A LOT. As for what I sell, I definitely gravitate towards things that I would wear, but then again, I would wear almost anything as long as I can make it work. I do try to cater to all different styles. For example I'm not too boho myself, but I know girls are going crazy for those poncho sweater capes, so finding them is like finding gold. I love to find gold.


C: Any plans to open a shop?

J: I would love to one day have my own shop. That has always been my true dream. I'm not really in a position to do that right now, but maybe one day.


C: What are a couple of your favorite items you're selling right now and why?

J: Hmm right now...well I'm always partial to biker style leather jackets, and there is one for sale right now. Also I like that tan quilted bomber jacket. It's so retro and 70's. But that red dashiki is my favorite. I love dashikis and would probably be happy wearing one everyday for some reason. I'll wear them with bamboo hoop earrings, I don't give a fuck! Oh and that little suitcase?! It says Cairo on one side, and Linda on the other side and is hand painted. So weird. Anyone named Linda out there? This purse got your name on it yo! Literally.

C: If you went shopping in Philly tomorrow what would be the first 3 shops your hit up?

J: Well seeing as I pretty much only shop at thrift stores (for Gutter Fairy and for myself), I will not reveal what they are because I am a very selfish person. Haha. I feel that style and shopping in Philly is very limited. Even more so in the recent years. South St. isn't even worth walking down, but I would stop at Retrospect. I always find something there. Hmmm and then I would probably go to Sweet Jane Vintage (which isn't even open yet), but my friend Jen is the owner and we have the same views when it comes to fashion, music, etc. so I know I would definitely not walk out empty handed. My third choice would be the beauty supply store on 7th and Chestnut. They have everything! You can buy huge cheap earrings, a new weave, crazy tights, and a du rag all at once!!!


C: Ok, let's play a game. I'll name some fashion trends I've seen in Philly. I'll say what I think about them and you, as the expert, give us your opinion too.

1. Those long tees that have big words on them like 'CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP?'

Conrad: I still like these. Although I tried one on at Urban once and it fit me weird.
Jacci: I don't hate on these...The only reason I wouldn't wear one is for the fear of running into someone else wearing the same thing. That is one of my worst fears, besides getting tangled up in a blind man's cane on the street, and eating rice.

2. High wasted pants?

Conrad: Love them. I have a pair that was apart of my Halloween 'Sunny and Cher' costume that I like so much I gonna start wearing out.
Jacci: Yes you looked cute in those pants. I want a high waisted pair of bell bottoms real bad. Kyle helped me the perfect pair of vintage Wrangler bell bottoms at Retrospect, but when I got them home I couldn't even fit them over my huge ass. So sad. Maybe you will see them on Gutter Fairy soon, if anyone's small enough to fit into them!

3. Girls in boot cut pants and high heels?

Conrad: I hate this so much. It reminds me of being on a boat... like a navy boat or something.
Jacci: The only good thing about this look is...nothing. It reminds me vomiting chocolate rain...and not in a good way.

Check out Gutter Fairy Vintage's Ebay store or add on Myspace.

Written by Conrad Benner, Photos by Jacci Stallone

Republicans Act Sooo Republicany

While the majority of the You Tube Republican debates held yesterday were a match in who was more well, Republicany...

For example: Who would get the closest to supporting torture without having to call it torture? Who would pass the most legislation to fuck over immigrates? Who believes every word in the holy bible (literally a question asked and then answered seriously at a presidential debate)? Who is more willing to punish women if they get an abortion, “when” Roe v. Wade is overturned?

Oh and of course, who is going to advertise smaller government, safety and conservatism, while actually legislating away more and more of our freedoms. Scarring us with “terrorism” to continue broad, unending and unfair wars around the world. And push consumption of non-renewable resources all while ignoring environmental and human needs... and I'm talking about the Dems too... Ugh.

As you can tell, I might be a little over the whole “America” thing right now. I need a soy latte and a hug... Anyone?

Where was I... yes, while most of the debates were very typical. There were some kinda interesting questions.

Ron Paul: actually vaguely cool.

In a plot startlingly similar to George Orwell's 1984, a You Tuber confronts Ron Paul about his conspiracy theories concerning the movement to create a North American Union, combining the American, Canadian and Mexican governments.

Gay people: too icky to serve.

In this question the candidates are asked if they think gays and lesbians should be allowed to serve in the military. It's interesting to see how many of our future wanna be presidents openly endorse inequality and would legislate discrimination.

African Americans: just don't vote for them.

Here Giuliani equates getting the black vote immediately with welfare. Haha... Dumb ass. And you wonder why African Americans don't vote Republican.

Well, either way you look at it I encourage you to watch the whole debate. One of these men will be running for the White House soon enough and god knows he will not be talking like this when he wants to get our votes.

Written by Conrad Benner

The Real Rye Rye

If you haven't heard about Rye Rye yet, don't feel too bad. With people like DJ Blaqstarr, Diplo and M.I.A. backing her, you're sure to know her soon enough. From the dance scene in Baltimore to a world tour, Rye Rye is seriously talent. Check it out...

The Interview

Conrad: I fucking love "Shake it to the ground", How'd you come up with that track?

Rye Rye: Well the track came about because I had did my first song in the studio and in the lyrics I said "imma shake it to the ground, bring it back up, twirl it all around, yea u know what's up" lol which from then blaqstarr took that bit and we just made it out of another song "shake it to the ground", so there it was a good chorus and only thing that was left were the 3 verses which I eventually wrote and recorded. So that's how I came up with the club bangin track. Thanks for fuckin loving that track, it's amazing!!!!

C: What's the scene like in Baltimore? What are some of your favorite places?

R: The scene in Baltimore is crazy. I mean its like other places u know different scenes all around. It is hood basically in some areas, some areas beautiful with just crazy ass people lol, but dancing has become a major part of Baltimore now. We got the boys dancing crazy legging all over the place u know, girls doing them just mad crazy. Some of my favorite spots are the clubs. I haven't been lately but I use 2 be in love with it. Always crazy, always breakin out into fights ruining shit hahahahaha, Club Paradox is the best and another favorite spot is my hood....Chapel Hill, where I grew up and raised around the dopest boys! Lol big brother figures.......

C: Have you been to Philly much? What do you think about our city?

R: I've actually been to Philly one time for a show. I mean the party was crazy. I was amazed at a lot of the dancing and things because I couldn't believe everyone danced the whole entire night, it was very fun and I enjoyed it. But I am going to be doing another show there on Dec. 1 with M.I.A. and I plan on going there to visit some friends of mine.


C: Who are you working with on the album?

R: On the album, I plan on working with DJ Blaqstarr, M.I.A., Afrikan Boy, Diplo, and many other upcoming artists! I would love to work with Mario because he is straight out of Baltimore and I think me and him should collab and just do a lil sumthin sumthin!

C: You're in the middle of a US and UK tour opening for M.I.A., What are you most excited about?

Well I am most excited about being able to perform and show my skills off in another part of the world. I am also excited about the experiences that I might come across. I heard they had some good shopping stores and the clothes are amazing lol!

What's your Ugh-pinion on...

C: The music industry?

R: My opinion as far as music is that it is becoming a takeover on the world. Here it is everyone wants to be a singer, rapper, everything lol but it's cool, I just wish that it was an easier way for people to become apart of the industry. It is sooooo many people out here who is talented and just can't show themselves off to the world. Back in Baltimore there is some haterz along the way, I mean people that work at radio stations, don't give others a chance to let their music be heard, and only promote u if u are their artist hahahaha lol, most people know who that person is! I also believe that me and Chris Brown should be together and just live hahahahaha just kidding!

C: Jordin Sparks whack new "Tattoo" song?

R: I never heard it truthfully! But I think she has an amazing voice. I Never heard any of her songs yet. LOL!

C: B-more crabcakes vs. Philly cheese steaks?

R: Philly cheese steaks be bangin! I would eat it before I eat a crabcake, haven't had any in awhile sooooo I don't really care lol! But I love eating Cheese Steaks at night when my mom go and get them from Mama Mia's.( store in Baltimore)

C: Hillary or Obama?

R: Well it is kinda hard, hmmmm...... I have to find out more about them! Whichever one that would stop the bombing in other countries and help them out.....

C: Thanks again Rye Rye for your time. We love you already. And we'll see you Dec. 1 in Philly.

R: U r very welcome, hope everyone enjoy the show in Philly because it is going to be a dope show, and M.I.A is the best sooooooo please come out!

Check out Rye Rye and DJ Blaqstarr's 'Shake it' video below. For show listings go to her Myspace Here.

Written by Conrad Benner, Photos by Rye Rye

JHN RDN and The Barbary

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Gay Marriage at City Hall

Saturday Mayor John Street presided over his first ever gay marriage ceremony at city hall. (And by 'preside over' I of course mean stand in a corner and try and not to get his photo taken.)

Unfortunately not a legal one, same sex unions are still illegal in the state of Pennsylvania. The event was seen as more of a favor to a friend. Although Street was pretty "cool" about it saying "[I] believe people have the right to have their relationships." ... WTF does that mean?!? That's like one step away from saying "I do not support gay marriage faggots." Gay.



The couple, Ryan Bunch and Micah Mahjoubian (above) are about as hot as the temperature they share a screen with and seemed to look on the bright side of things, saying "As head of the city of Philadelphia, he lends legitimacy to what we've done today and that was important for us to do that in front of our friends and family."

Well, congratulations boys on the... same thing you were before. I hope one of you doesn't have to visit the other in a hospital soon... 'cause they don't let you do that.

Eh, I guess it's baby steps to equality.

And in case you've lost count: Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Massachusetts, California, Washington, Oregon, Hawaii and of course New Jersey all offer same sex couples the same rights as opposite sex couples. It's just common sense.


Written by Conrad Benner, Some stuff from NBC10